He's A Zombie!!!!!
by Rage1
Summary: I just thought it would be funny if they messed up. This is my 4rth story. I hope this gives you an idea about what to do if you're not sure who's a zombie. Read and review. Thanx.


He's A zombie!!!!

This story takes place in resident evil 1

Joe was a scientist in the house. He was the one who gathered all the documents on the research. He kept a dog named ricky in his room. His room was at the bottom of the stairs in a room with a huge crate, a shelf with lots of serums, a bed, and a typewriter. Usually he would stay in his room just to pet his dog and read some books that he found in the crate. One day, His dog ricky bit Joe on the arm. It was a bad bite. Joe put the dog outside for the punishement. He went back to his room and gave himself some healing cream. The gash was blood red. Joe just laid on his bed and tried to fall asleep. "Stupid dog!" he muttered under his breath.

Joe awoke to a door slam. He looked up and saw a woman wearing all blue. He moaned as he did when He got up. Jill looked at the gash on joe's arm and heard him moaning and peiced the 2 clues together. Jill shouted: "Oh my god! YOU'RE A ZOMBIE!!!" before joe could explain, jill balled up her fist and socked him in the eye. Joe was holding his eye and stumbling backwards shouting "What the hell--"

Jill kicked him in the nuts then pulled out her knife. She sliced a gash in his leg. "Aaaaaaaahhh! What the fuck!! You--" joe was shouting. Jill beat him down to the ground before he could utter another word. "Bitch!" joe was furious.

Just then, Chris walked in. "Jill, Have you found anything?" chris asked. He always asked stupid questions. Chris is basically a retard with a gun and a crew cut. Jill was socking joe in the face repatedly. "What does it look like, you jack-ass!" jill shouted. "What is it?" chris asked. "He's a zombie! I'm beating him to a bloody pulp!" jill answered while still hammering away at his head. "He's a zombie!??!!!" Chris was cautious now. As he yelled that line he took out his Colt Python and unloaded a round in Joe's legs. "Holyshiiiiiiit!!! You stupid mutherfuckers!! I'm not a--" Joe was cut off when chris took the hendle of his gun and clunked him in the face. It was a miracle that Joe was still alive and an even bigger miracle that he was consceince. But maybe that was just alittle too painful for him.

Rebbeca entered the room and saw Chris and jill beating down a guy. She automatically asked the stupid question: "What's going on here, sir??" Chris and jill turned around and yelled at the same time: "He's a Zombie!!!" As soon as Rebbeca heard those words, she automatically pulled out her mace and sprayed it in joe's face. Joe grabbed his face and yelled off the top of his lungs: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Just leave me (Punch!) alo-(slap)ne!!!" 

Barry entered the room. He saw Chris,Jill,and rebbeca beating down the Helpless Joe. He was staring at rebbeca's ass and said outloud in a concerened voice: "Rebbeca, are you sure you're 18??" Rebbeca looked at him and yelled: "This man is a zombie!!" Barry almost jumped out of his skin. "Help(punch) I'm not(sock!) a zom(slap)bie." Joe was struggling to speak. Knuckles were the only thing listening to his mouth. Barry said: "Stand back! I'll take care of this!!" He pulled out his magnum and pointed it at the joe in pain. All the others moved aside. He unloaded all the bullets shooting him. Joe was dead. Jill wandered over to the typewriter and read what the man had written: 

July 5th,1998

Today was a bad day for me. My stupid dog bit me in the arm. I put some healing cream on it. Thank god that that dog wasn't injected with the T-virus. Otherwise, I'd really be in deep shit. I wouldn't want to be a lifeless zombie....

Jill looked at barry and said: "Ooooohh shit!" 

"What's wrong jill?" chris asked looking concerned.

"I'll handle the problem if there is a problem,sir. Uh- I mean ma'am. I mean- whatever!" Rebbeca shouted in an army voice while saluting jill.

"Stop saluting me all the damn time! This is serious. I think that this man wasn't a zombie." jill said while scracthing her head.

"He wasn't a Zombie???" barry,Chris,and Rebbeca said at the same time.

Just then, Wesker entered the room :" Hi gang!" he said cheerfully.

"He's A zombie!!" Jill said pointing to weser.

"What?" wesker asked confused.

They all opened fire on Wesker.

Wesker ( If he had been a zombie) would have been stopped by the stupidest S.T.A.R.S. team on the planet


End file.
